thats true. There are times when states of consciousness brougth on by magical/spiritual work can make you think you are losing it. But, if you think you are, more so then just from magical work, then maybe you should get checked out.

As a few authors I have read and found highly successful "The difference between mental illness and magical inspiration is that you can turn it off when you need to." While I have heard the ubiquitous stories that are contrary to that statement, one thing I notice about all of them is that the ritual is still going on, and its not like they are, at the bank, out buying groceries, or doing some other mundane task when they became possessed by Dionysus and started humping men on the street. So, yeah.

Since I think you live in the Bay area, I imagine you could find a mentor up there, somwhere, with a little searching, meeting people in the magical community etc. All those profile sites out there are good ways to meet people with similar interests. I have also had a few good experiences with meetup.com. I imagine some mentors might require that you be iniated into thier tradition in order to learn certain things from them, which may also mean learning certain and set ways to do things.

Of course, you may already have a mentor, just not someone who is teaching you magic/occultism.